So you want the perfect wedding? Well, face up to it right now: there isn't one, there hasn't been one, nor will there ever be one. Just get over it. Something will happen. The cake won't arrive on time or it won't be exactly what you ordered. The band will come in drunk or worse, and the emcee will embarrass your guests. Your aunt Tootsie will probably sing with the band. And then most brides, and probably grooms too, have a lot of second thoughts the night before the wedding. You start thinking about all of those little idiosyncrasies that that bother you about the other. You start to think ... well, is he/she really the "right one." Well, probably not. There is no one single person who is right for you. There are billions of people on the earth, and to think there is only one person who is right for you is rather like thinking there is only one delectable entree that satisfies your palate. And you will wake up the morning after the wedding, and a thought will cross your mind, "Did I do the right thing?" This is absolutely normal, but probably no one will tell you this. Don't worry. You probably have found the right person for you for right now, at this one moment in time. The other millions of would-be "right persons" are off doing something else. What's more, all of the small idiosyncrasies that you may find a bit annoying about your partner will become the endearing qualities that you pride yourself in coping with and that will make you and your spouse grow closer. Marriage is not a miracle -- it's a work in progress. But when those worries start to get out of hand, there is a something you can do to ease the stress. Imagine that your wedding is going to be the "wedding from hell." Just take for granted that everything will go wrong ... the maid of honor will get drunk and confess she slept with the groom or whatever your worst nightmare is. Write it all down. Go ahead, indulge yourself. Write down every possible thing that can go wrong and then burn it. Yes, light a fire to all your worries. Let it burn. Then take some time for yourself. Go to a spa or visit with friends you haven't seen in a while. Do what you need to do to take your mind off "the big day." Then go off and have a great wedding ... |
